
Solomon shared many wise nuggets that are useful in managing relationships. In the scripture above, he is saying that if your boss or Manager becomes angry that you should remain calm. In so doing, your calm demeanour will reduce whatever caused them to be offended. Even psychological theory suggests that it helps an angry person to calm down more quickly, if you remain quiet and maintain your composure. Mirroring the angry person’s behaviour is like attaching yourself to a burning house. If you see a house on fire, would you walk in or stand back at a safe distance to protect yourself? So why do we join in and share an angry person’s emotional outburst?
Solomon also said in Proverbs that, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). I know that it is not easy to respond with gentleness, when someone has expressed anger towards us. The human tendency is to retaliate and to match the other person’s harshness. The question is; are we any better than the person who spoke harshly to us and are we not joining them in being harsh? The bible says that we should not render evil for evil or insult with insult. Better yet, we should repay evil with a blessing so that we will inherit a blessing (1 Peter 3:9).
Many problems and wars could have been avoided with a kind word. Many fights could have also been avoided, if someone had the sense to walk away. It is not easy to continuously take insults without the urge to retaliate. Our will power alone is not enough to stop us from retaliating. A mind, body and spirit submitted to God is easier to restrain from retaliating in the flesh. Even well meaning christians sometimes retaliate and experience angry outbursts. Sometimes this is learnt behaviour which was modelled during childhood. Other times, unresolved trauma and abuse can result in suppressed anger, which can lead to a bad temper.
Remaining submitted to God and being led by the Holy Spirit will help us to overcome. God can also heal damaged emotions, from past hurt and abuse and the Holy Spirit can teach us how to manage our emotions. Daily quiet time with God in prayer and meditation also helps us to remain calm. “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).
A.P.-Y.
I took a hold of this scripture and principle of staying calm and a soft answer in my workplace and even in the church and always….I walked out more than a conqueror and with a calm sea( circumstances) it’s like the calm answer soothes the emotions of the other party and also the circumstances…I will never forget those…of how I just apply the word and experienced that Scripture always works when we apply it!!!
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Amen 🙏🏾. We need these reminder daily because the tests are daily. Not in our own strength, but the Holy Spirit is our helper.
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Amen!
We can definitely take lessons of being quiet and patient in the face of a harsh moment.
Paul tells us…
“…But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law…”
Galatians 5:22-23
Among these fruits, the believer can express meekness (power under control), longsuffering (patience), and peace (both inner and in the moment).
If our natural tendency is to be aggressive, then we should gauge how beneficial it could be, otherwise turn off the aggression, believers must not be as the worldly.
Great insight, God bless you.
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Amen 🙏🏾. Bless you. Definately in keeping with the fruits of the spirit. Some conditions are deep rooted based on trauma and abuse for some people who fly into fits or rage and uncontrolled angry outbursts. Thank God for the power of deliverance and healing over mind, body and emotions and the power of the Holy Spirit to do what we couldn’t do in our own strength. 🙏🏾
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There is definitely much value in the fruits of the Spirit. Most of the time the only thing we see is how the fruits effect change in our own outlook, we tend to forget that there are greater issues than only character, but the reason our character is the way it is.
Underlying issues promote or distort what we have become, and we don’t really ever see where it came from.
Allowing the Holy Spirit his will to work in us gives us opportunity to let some things go, and build up in other areas.
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Amen 🙏🏾. You are absolutely correct.
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Very wise words indeed by Solomon. I have found that keeping my calm has helped diffuse an angry situation. I must also admit that I have not always responded that way. It takes some intentionality to not give in to the bait of responding angrily to anger.
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Lots of intentionality and surrendering to the Holy Spirit. Many things we cannot do on our own without the help of the Lord. But by the grace of God! 🙏🏾🙌🏾
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I am thankful the Lord taught me early in life the need to control my temper. You are so right. It is not something we do on our own, but by the Lord’s grace and strength, He has conquered it in me–for the most part!
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Amen 🙏🏾. God is able. The emotions are an area where the enemy targets a lot in Christians, yet it is something that we don’t talk about as much. A lot of Christians put on a big smile on Sunday and pretend that everything is absolutely fine, when they are battling with real stuff. This is why some people in the world cry about hypocrisy. Pretending to be perfect and immune to feelings doesn’t help anyone. 🙏🏾
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So true
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So right Anneta just sometimes not what I do. Thank God for His patient and persistent mercy through Christ.
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Amen 🙏🏾. All of us become impatient and want many things to happen all at once. Some situations change rapidly, but most things change gradually. Bless you 🙏🏾
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Indeed The Holy Spirit is The Master of our emotions.🙏🏾
But you are not living the life of the flesh, you are living the life of the Spirit, if the [Holy] Spirit of God [really] dwells within you [directs and controls you].(Rom 8:9)
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Amen 🙏🏾
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