Transforming Relationships (2)

“The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate”” (Genesis 3:12).

Yesterday we read where Adam and Eve were naked in front of each other and they were not afraid. Fast forward to chapter 3 and Eve was beguiled by the serpent, to eat the forbidden fruit and she enticed her husband to partake. “Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths” (Genesis 3:7). God searched for Adam and Eve who hid themselves because they were naked and afraid. He called out to Adam and asked, “Who told you that you were naked?” He knew that they had eaten from the tree he commanded them not to eat.

Adam blamed Eve who blamed the serpent. The result was a curse for the serpent, the woman and her seed. “To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you”” (Genesis 3:16). Adam’s curse was to be subject to hard labour for food and they were both banished from the garden. Within this chapter, we saw the first difficulties appearing in the original family structure. Eve strayed and listened to the serpent and then enticed her husband. Adam blamed her for his sin, although he chose to listen and partake.

In chapter 4, we saw the discourse between Cain and Abel, which led to Abel’s death. My question is; what dynamics did Cain witness between his parents, that created so much anger in him? Let us consider the frame of mind, of Adam and Eve after they were booted from the garden. Adam was born in paradise and all that he needed was readily available without toil or labour. He longed for a companion and God created Eve. It was love at first sight and his words were, ‘at last, bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.’ Adam was so smitten by Eve, that he gullibly ate the forbidden fruit at her suggestion. Did either of them consider the consequences?

They were banished from the garden and the presence of God. Adam was subject to hard labour for the first time in his life. He was living out a sentence which he blamed on his wife. Eve must have been angry with herself and even more angry with Adam for blaming her when God asked questions. Cain was their firstborn and she brought him into the world in pain. He was most likely born at a time, when his parents were still adjusting to the hardship of their separation from God. Abel was their second born and his temperament could suggest that his parents had started to accept life as it was. The difference between the boys and enmity between them led to jealousy, resentment and murder.

We have continued to see dysfunctions in families ever since. A union once created out of pure love and devotion, is sometimes characterised by manipulation, control, anger and hostility. These negative patterns are being transferred to children and have been passed down for many generations. The good news is that God always finds a remedy for his children and salvation through Jesus offers relief. The answers are in the word. Stay with me as we walk through God’s journey of redemption and restoration. ““With your unfailing love you lead the people you have redeemed. In your might, you guide them to your sacred home” (Exodus 15:13).


11 thoughts on “Transforming Relationships (2)

  1. I really like the perspective you take on what young Cain and Abel might have seen in their parents relationship. Never thought of that. Makes me reflect. Thank you for sharing Anneta.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Thank you for this. I’ve never stopped to think about the family dynamics that would have led to Cain’s behaviour. I think we underestimate how much children do take from the parents at the various stages of the parents lives. It really does impact how the differences seen among siblings.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Amen 🙏🏾. The Holy Spirit is such a great Teacher and guide. I knew I needed to write about relationships and everyday I wake up, not sure of exactly what to write. How I love it when the Holy Spirit guides. Love you cousin. 💖❤️💗🙏🏾

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Thank you, my sister.
    I was blessed by this.
    I am always praying and working on my marriage and most importantly my attitude toward the family.
    I desire to be a blessing to my wife and children even my society.
    Children learn more by observation than by hearing from us

    Liked by 2 people

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