After the fall of Adam, we read about his descendants up to Noah. Mankind multiplied and there was evil on the land. “So the Lord was sorry he had ever made them and put them on the earth. It broke his heart” (Genesis 6:6). God decided to wipe away everything that he created from the face of the earth. “But Noah found favor with the Lord” (Genesis 6:8). God’s redemptive plan was to start over with someone faithful and he confirmed his creation covenant with Noah. Abram descended from the line of Shem and God established a covenant with him. He was called to leave his family and journey with God to a new country.

The promise was that his family would be blessed and he would be the father of many nations. The one challenge was that Abram was still not a father in his eighties, but his wife Sarai had a proposal. She convinced Abram to lie with her servant Hagar, so that they could produce a heir. Like Adam, Abram listened to his wife and Hagar conceived Ishmael. Trouble soon started as Hagar treated Sarai with contempt and she blamed Abram for this outcome. He reminded her that Hagar was her servant and she treated her harshly until Hagar ran away. “The angel of the Lord said to her, “Return to your mistress, and submit to her authority”” (Genesis 16:9). The angel told Hagar that her son would be called Ishmael. He would be wild and would be in conflicts with everyone, and live in open hostility against his relatives.

God reconfirmed his covenant to Abram and his name was changed to Abraham. Sarai was now Sarah and God revealed that they would have a son and call his name Isaac. Sarah conceived and gave birth to Isaac and Hagar and Ishmael made fun of him. Sarah demanded that Abraham get rid of Ishmael and determined that he would not share in his inheritance. Although it displeased Abraham, God confirmed that he needed to listen to Sarah. Ishmael and his mother were sent away and God promised that a nation would be created by him. This was another messy family situation that was created through impatience. Sarah wavered at the promises of God and decided to take matters into her own hands.

Abraham did not waver, yet he listened to his wife. Once the challenges started with the servant, Sarah blamed Abraham. Their disobedience created a child who would be at odds with his relatives for life. Ishmael had to deal with growing up without a father and was not allowed to benefit from Abraham’s inheritance. A child cast away and abandoned by his father’s family, because of the conflicts with his step mother. There are many people who are the result of blended families, children born through extra marital affairs and children who were raised by step parents after divorce or death.

Many children have experienced difficult family dynamics, from being a half sibling and feeling less entitled to the family inheritance. Many step parents have abused children born from previous relationships or from affairs. Nevertheless, God is gracious and he also made a covenant promise to Ishmael. “Go to him and comfort him, for I will make a great nation from his descendants” (Genesis 21:18). Your end is far greater than your beginning and although your family circumstances may have been challenging, God has a covenant promise for you. “then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes. He will have mercy on you and gather you back from all the nations where he has scattered you” (Deuteronomy 30:3).

A.P.-Y.

Yesterday we read where Adam and Eve were naked in front of each other and they were not afraid. Fast forward to chapter 3 and Eve was beguiled by the serpent, to eat the forbidden fruit and she enticed her husband to partake. “Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths” (Genesis 3:7). God searched for Adam and Eve who hid themselves because they were naked and afraid. He called out to Adam and asked, “Who told you that you were naked?” He knew that they had eaten from the tree he commanded them not to eat.

Adam blamed Eve who blamed the serpent. The result was a curse for the serpent, the woman and her seed. “To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you”” (Genesis 3:16). Adam’s curse was to be subject to hard labour for food and they were both banished from the garden. Within this chapter, we saw the first difficulties appearing in the original family structure. Eve strayed and listened to the serpent and then enticed her husband. Adam blamed her for his sin, although he chose to listen and partake.

In chapter 4, we saw the discourse between Cain and Abel, which led to Abel’s death. My question is; what dynamics did Cain witness between his parents, that created so much anger in him? Let us consider the frame of mind, of Adam and Eve after they were booted from the garden. Adam was born in paradise and all that he needed was readily available without toil or labour. He longed for a companion and God created Eve. It was love at first sight and his words were, ‘at last, bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.’ Adam was so smitten by Eve, that he gullibly ate the forbidden fruit at her suggestion. Did either of them consider the consequences?

They were banished from the garden and the presence of God. Adam was subject to hard labour for the first time in his life. He was living out a sentence which he blamed on his wife. Eve must have been angry with herself and even more angry with Adam for blaming her when God asked questions. Cain was their firstborn and she brought him into the world in pain. He was most likely born at a time, when his parents were still adjusting to the hardship of their separation from God. Abel was their second born and his temperament could suggest that his parents had started to accept life as it was. The difference between the boys and enmity between them led to jealousy, resentment and murder.

We have continued to see dysfunctions in families ever since. A union once created out of pure love and devotion, is sometimes characterised by manipulation, control, anger and hostility. These negative patterns are being transferred to children and have been passed down for many generations. The good news is that God always finds a remedy for his children and salvation through Jesus offers relief. The answers are in the word. Stay with me as we walk through God’s journey of redemption and restoration. ““With your unfailing love you lead the people you have redeemed. In your might, you guide them to your sacred home” (Exodus 15:13).

A.P.-Y.

Solomon spoke a lot about relationships and the Songs of Solomon is a book of poems about love. Interpretations surmise that the book relates to God’s love letters or covenants with Isreal or Christ’s letter to the church. Either way, we are born with the desire and need for love and relationships. “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him”” (Genesis 2:18). God created us for relationships and He understood that Adam would not be his best on his own. Despite the presence of animals and other creatures, Adam needed someone like himself that he could relate to.

God created a helper for Adam from his flesh and presented her to him. “Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man”” (Genesis 2:23). The next verse described a man leaving his mother and father, to be with his wife, and the two would become one flesh. The man and woman were both naked and they were not shamed. Earlier in Genesis 1, we learnt how God created male and female and his instruction was for multiplication. “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth”” (Genesis 1:28).

One of the main reasons why God created males and females and placed them together, was for the purpose of procreation. The other important reason why I believe that men and women were placed together was for companionship. We can see how God designed the family structure, for the establishment and maintenance of society. Within the family unit, children are born, raised and taught how to function in society. Families instil values, norms and teach children about religion and culture for example. Families should provide emotional warmth, stability, nurture and meet the needs of children.

When children grow up in stable family environments, they become well adjusted adults who are able to function and contribute to the maintenance of society. Over the next few days, we will look a bit more into what happens, when God’s original design for the family structure is not maintained. We will try to explore some of the consequences of abuse, neglect, divorce, separation or dysfunctional family patterns, and look at how these patterns, affect people’s ability to form and maintain healthy relationships. We will also explore what can be done when children have not grown up in ideal family settings and what interventions can help to repair difficult socialisation patterns.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”(Psalm 147:3).

A.P.-Y.

In Acts 22, Paul was placed on board a ship to sail to Rome, so that he could stand trial before Caesar. Paul sailed along the coast of Asia, through Cyprus and boarded another ship to Italy. The ship sailed with a lot of difficulty and Paul advised the crew of what he sensed would happen. “saying, “Sirs, I perceive that the voyage will be with injury and much loss, not only of the cargo and the ship, but also of our lives”” (Acts 27:10). The Centurion who transported Paul, paid more attention to what the crew had to say that what Paul said. As they were in winter, it was not deemed suitable to remain at the harbour, but to sail to Italy.

As the ship set out at sea, they encountered a storm which carried them along for days. The crew threw cargo and other items overboard in order to lighten the ship. They eventually gave up hope that they would be saved, after being in the storm for days. They were so anxious that no one aboard had anything to eat for days. Paul decided to address the crew and scolded them for not listening to his earlier advise. Nevertheless, he encouraged them that there would be no loss of life, because an angel assured him that he would make it to see Caesar. In addition, God would spare the lives of everyone on board the ship. “So take heart, men, for I have faith in God that it will be exactly as I have been told” (Acts 27:25).

The ship continued to sail for another fourteen days and the sailors intended to use a boat to escape the ship. Paul warned them that they needed to stay on board in order to live. He also encouraged the men to eat and took bread, gave thanks to God and began to eat. “Then they all were encouraged and ate some food themselves” (Acts 27:36). Once they had enough to eat, they threw the rest of the wheat overboard. The next day they discovered land and those who could swim were encouraged to jump overboard and swim to shore. The soldiers wanted to kill the prisoners because they feared that they would try to escape. The Centurion stopped the soldiers from carrying out their plan, as he wanted to save Paul.

In the end, not one person aboard the ship died, either to the storm, at the shipwreck or at the hands of the soldiers. God kept his word and Paul and the entire crew were spared from the storm. We could say that it would have helped if the men had listened to Paul and not set sail. In any event, God was gracious to spare not only Paul, but everyone on board. Paul’s faith was a witness to them that he served the true and living God. Although a prisoner, Paul spoke with authority and overtime the men listened. They even took caution and remained on board, when they wanted to use a boat to escape. They also followed Paul’s lead and ate in order to maintain their strength.

God kept his word and they were spared from death, but they were required to listen and obey. They lost the ship and their cargo, but every life was spared. The crew had to throw thing overboard that was deemed valuable. They had to choose between saving lives, rather than holding unto material possessions. Isn’t it strange that during times of difficulty, we may be willing to part with material possession, if it means the preservation of life. God was with Paul during the storm which assured him that they would be safe.

A.P.-Y.

Isaiah wrote about Gods perfect peace and proclaimed a song to be sung in Judah. Judah was strong and surrounded by walls of salvation. “Open the gates, that the righteous nation that keeps faith may enter in” (Isaiah 26:2). Those who place their trust in God, remain in perfect peace. God is our everlasting rock who has humbled the proud and brings down the arrogant. They are trampled by the poor and needy, but the path of the righteous is level. “In the path of your judgments, O Lord, we wait for you; your name and remembrance are the desire of our soul” (Isaiah 26:8). The song continued to express an earnest desire for God.

Isaiah said that when God’s judgements are in the land, the inhabitants learn righteousness. If favour is shown to the wicked, he does not learn righteousness. The wicked deals corruptly even in the land of righteousness and does not show regard for the things of God. “O Lord, your hand is lifted up, but they do not see it. Let them see your zeal for your people, and be ashamed. Let the fire for your adversaries consume them” (Isaiah 26:11). God’s reward for his people is peace and he causes us to advance. There are other gods and systems that have ruled over the earth. Other gods are dead as God will destroy them and wipe away their memory.

God has increased his people and enlarged their territories. They cried out to him in their distress through silent prayers, when they were being chastened. “Like a pregnant woman who writhes and cries out in her pangs when she is near to giving birth, so were we because of you, O Lord” (Isaiah 26:17). Their pregnancy did not bring forth a seed and there was no deliverance. The dead shall live again and those who are downtrodden will sing for joy. God’s people are warned to hide until his fury has passed. “For behold, the Lord is coming out from his place to punish the inhabitants of the earth for their iniquity, and the earth will disclose the blood shed on it, and will no more cover its slain” (Isaiah 26:21).

In this song, Isaiah spoke of God’s love for his people and his gift of peace. He also spoke about judgment for the inhabitants of the earth, in order to teach righteousness. Judgment is punishment for sin and we know that the Lord chastises the one that he loves (Hebrews 12:6). In the same way that children need discipline to learn good morals and values, people need judgment to learn the righteousness of God. No one loves discipline, but it produces fruits of righteousness. “For it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God; and if it begins with us, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God” (1 Peter 4:17)?

A.P.-Y.