Dealing with Co-dependency

“And Ahab went into his house vexed and sullen because of what Naboth the Jezreelite had said to him, for he had said, “I will not give you the inheritance of my fathers.” And he lay down on his bed and turned away his face and would eat no food” (1 Kings 21:4).

Ahab was King in Israel after the death of his father Omri. “And Ahab the son of Omri did evil in the sight of the Lord, more than all who were before him” (1 Kings 16:30). One of Ahab’s major mistakes, was marrying Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal who served Baal. Ahab followed his wife in serving Baal and built an altar to serve him in Samaria. One day, Ahab approached Naboth who owned a vineyard near his palace. He asked Naboth to give him the vineyard, so that he could turn it into a vegetable garden. Naboth refused as the vineyard was the inheritance of his fathers.

Ahab’s response was so extreme that he went into his room, turned his face to the wall and would not eat. Imagine a King throwing a temper tantrum, because a man would not part with the land that he inherited from his family. When his wife asked him what was wrong, he complained like a petulant child. Ahab was angry because Naboth refused to hand over his vineyard. Jezebel’s response was to support Ahab’s childish behaviour. “Do you now govern Israel? Arise and eat bread and let your heart be cheerful; I will give you the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite” (1 Kings 21:7). Jezebel decided to take matters into her own hands.

She used the Kings seal to write letters of accusation against Naboth, which led to his execution. Ahab took possession of Naboth’s vineyard which aroused the anger and condemnation of God. This was the prophecy concerning Ahab as a result of what he did. “Thus says the Lord: “In the place where dogs licked up the blood of Naboth shall dogs lick your own blood” (1 Kings 21:19). The plot of land was not worth the life of an innocent man. Ahab brought condemnation on himself and his household, because of his toxic and co-dependent relationship with Jezebel.

“Codependency is a circular relationship in which one person needs the other person, who in turn, needs to be needed. The codependent person, known as ‘the giver,’ feels worthless unless they are needed by and making sacrifices for the enabler, otherwise known as ‘the taker” (DR. EXELBERG, verywellmind.com). In healthy relationships, people have a desire to feel loved and wanted. The ideal relationship is one where both persons are inter-dependent. This is when two strong people are involved with each other without sacrificing themselves or compromising their values.

The pattern of co-dependency first started with Solomon, who married the Queen of Sheba. This marriage led him to leave his love for God and to serve other foreign gods. This generational pattern was passed down to Ahab, who was an extreme case. This is why choosing a life partner is such an important decision, as being attached to the wrong person can ruin your life. We can learn a lot from Ahab and Jezebel’s toxic relationship and guard against co-dependency. A wife should encourage her husband to be a better person as should a husband love and nurture his wife. Both people should help each other to become better children of God. A relationship needs two people who are firmly established in God to create a healthy and balanced union.

“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals”” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

A.P.-Y.

20 thoughts on “Dealing with Co-dependency

  1. The worst part about this relationship was that Jezebel wore the pants in that wicked household. Jezebel shot all the fiery darts and sent Ahab to pick up the bodies. She was the master and he was her puppy. This was not a godly relationship. This couple was the perfect example of wickedness at its best!!

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  2. I think this is one of your best Anneta.
    Relationships are very key .
    I remember my pastor advising us to take time or consider breaking up with potentially bad women.He would say break up is better than divorce or living a miserable life for the rest of our lives with a twisted kind of wife like Jezebel.
    He also said we should deal with our issues because what we do in moderation as parents our children will do in excess.
    Solomon planted a wrong seed in his genealogy.
    Be blessed!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amen 🙏🏾. Thanks Evidence. I know that God centred relationships is an point of interest for you and has become a major one for me as well. There are a lot of broken men and women in our world. I know that a lot of emphasis is placed on Jezebel in a way which sometimes wrongly castigates women. Both of them are responsible and as bad as each other and you can say Ahab should have known better as the King and as a Jew. He was codependent and childish and followed his lustful desires over common sense. Every Jezebel spirit needs the spirit of Ahab to operate. Men who fail to take responsibility of their homes and rely on a woman to lead, are setting themselves up. I hope you understand where I am coming from. Bless you. ☺️🙏🏾

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      1. Yes I totally understand ,I am so much into the family domain (men’s ministry,women’s ministry, youth and children)
        So I am interested in how each should play their role for a successful family structure.
        As for me and my friend we can talk for 4 to 6 hours a day grilling😅 each on those issues about taking responsibility, loving our wives and children and serving God.
        Unfortunately he is going to stay in Ireland next month with his family.
        Hopefully skype will save the day.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey lovely. I was wondering where you were. I trust that you are ok. Frank was giving so much trouble. 😂Jezebel is the one. She is so terrible that spirit, wreaks havoc wherever she goes. Co-dependency is the spirit to guard against in leadership because it opens the door. Leaders have to remain vigilant! There is one in every church and the level of intercession depends on whether or not it manifests or not. Bless you. 🙏🏾

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      1. Oh…God is faithful…He told me that this is a year of restoration and we are witnessing the evidence…our congregation had been under tremendous witchcraft attack , but with intercession things are aligning with God’s plans for us….

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      2. Amen 🙏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾. That’s great to hear! Restoration is what God told me at the start of the year! Thanks so much for confirming. Claiming restoration over every area of my life in this year including my church!

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      3. Yes!!! 🙏🏾🙌🏾👏🏾If you check, that was my first blood for 2022, year of restoration. I generally pray in December to ask God what he is saying for the new year. I heard restoration! God is indeed awesome!

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