Jesus once told his disciples that whoever loved his life would lose it, but those who are willing to give up their lives in this world will keep it (John 12:25). This is quite an anomaly as you can’t quite lose your life and keep it at the same time. The losing and keeping which Jesus spoke of was, losing one’s self to the world and it’s desires and gaining a spiritual life which lasts into eternity. Jesus shared these teachings in the lead up to his crucifixion. He also stated that a seed had to fall to the ground and die, in order to be raised up again and live. I used to listen to my Dad perform baptismal services.

This is the line that my father used to say. ‘I am glad that I am at your burial and not your funeral.’ A burial for him meant, dying to the wages of sin and having the deeds of the flesh buried in water baptism. The idea was that the baptismal candidate would arise out of the water, a new person, the old person having been buried. I don’t have the time to argue with anyone, about the doctrinal accuracy of my father’s sayings. What I know is that I understood what he meant. Remaining in sin means staying alive to the deeds of the flesh. Accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and saviour is becoming a new creature and taking on a new nature.

Paul also spoke of righteousness through faith in Christ. He spoke about our worship through Jesus and having no confidence in our flesh. This is because the works of the flesh cannot save us. We can do nothing to save ourselves and salvation is a free gift from God. “But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ” (Philippians 3:7). Paul was willing to give up everything for his new life in Christ. He described himself as a Jew from the tribe of Benjamin, a Pharisee and a persecutor of the church. Paul had power, status and privilege and was a person with earthly significance. Imagine going from main persecutor of the church to being an apostle of Jesus Christ.

The apostles knew of the sacrifice and the consequences of their commitment to spreading the gospel. They saw what happened to Jesus and other disciples who promoted the gospel. Paul was among the inner circles of the Pharisees, so he knew first hand their mindset, power and of the harm that they were able to inflict on others. Nevertheless, he saw the need to reach lost souls as more important than his own life. Are you able to weigh the balance of your life’s work, to determine what percentage goes towards the furtherance of the gospel? Only what we do for Christ will last into eternity.

A.P.-Y.

Yesterday we spoke about the need to pray without condemnation. Today we will continue to explore some of the pitfalls of our words. I recall a time in the Old Testament when Aaron and Miriam faced condemnation, based on the words they used to criticise Moses. In Numbers 12, they spoke against Moses because he married a Cushite woman. Not only did they speak against Moses because of his choice of a wife, they also challenged his relationship with God. “And they said, “Has the Lord indeed spoken only through Moses? Has he not spoken through us also?” And the Lord heard it” (Numbers 12:2).

Miriam was a prophetess and Aaron went with Moses, to speak on his behalf before Pharaoh. In a sense, both Miriam and Aaron shared in the leadership role with Moses over the children of Isreal. Additionally, they were Moses’s siblings and it was Miriam who watched over Moses, when he was placed in a basket in the river. Their proximity to Moses and their familiarity with him, made it difficult for them to see him as more than their little brother. There could also have been some hidden resentment towards Moses who experienced a privileged upbringing in the palace. All the while Aaron and Miriam would have grown up under the bondage of Egyptian tyranny.

Either way, something gave them the bravery to challenge Moses’s authority. It is one thing to challenge his choice of a wife, but to speak about his relationship with God was taking things to an entirely different level. The bible’s description of Moses was someone who was humble and meek. God summoned Miriam and Aaron and gave them quite a scolding. “And the anger of the Lord was kindled against them, and he departed” (Numbers 12:9). After the Lord departed, Miriam was leprous and Aaron begged Moses to have mercy. Moses cried out to God on her behalf and God instructed him to shut her out of the camp for seven days. After the seven days, Miriam was brought back to the camp. We can assume that she was healed from the leprosy as she would not be allowed to return otherwise.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and we have to be careful how we use words to describe people. Words spoken in anger, frustration, bitterness, resentment, jealousy and other negative emotions can be extremely harmful. Either way, God judges the intentions of the heart and searches the deep and hidden things. Unlike us, God sees the motives behind what we say and we have to be careful that our words don’t come back to haunt us. There is a song that I remember singing in Sunday school which goes like this; “watch your mouth, watch your mouth, what they say, watch your mouth, watch your mouth, what they say. For there’s a father up above, looking down in tender love. Watch your mouth, watch your mouth, what they say.”

A.P.-Y.

Ahab was King in Israel after the death of his father Omri. “And Ahab the son of Omri did evil in the sight of the Lord, more than all who were before him” (1 Kings 16:30). One of Ahab’s major mistakes, was marrying Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal who served Baal. Ahab followed his wife in serving Baal and built an altar to serve him in Samaria. One day, Ahab approached Naboth who owned a vineyard near his palace. He asked Naboth to give him the vineyard, so that he could turn it into a vegetable garden. Naboth refused as the vineyard was the inheritance of his fathers.

Ahab’s response was so extreme that he went into his room, turned his face to the wall and would not eat. Imagine a King throwing a temper tantrum, because a man would not part with the land that he inherited from his family. When his wife asked him what was wrong, he complained like a petulant child. Ahab was angry because Naboth refused to hand over his vineyard. Jezebel’s response was to support Ahab’s childish behaviour. “Do you now govern Israel? Arise and eat bread and let your heart be cheerful; I will give you the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite” (1 Kings 21:7). Jezebel decided to take matters into her own hands.

She used the Kings seal to write letters of accusation against Naboth, which led to his execution. Ahab took possession of Naboth’s vineyard which aroused the anger and condemnation of God. This was the prophecy concerning Ahab as a result of what he did. “Thus says the Lord: “In the place where dogs licked up the blood of Naboth shall dogs lick your own blood” (1 Kings 21:19). The plot of land was not worth the life of an innocent man. Ahab brought condemnation on himself and his household, because of his toxic and codependent relationship with Jezebel.

“Codependency is a circular relationship in which one person needs the other person, who in turn, needs to be needed. The codependent person, known as ‘the giver,’ feels worthless unless they are needed by and making sacrifices for the enabler, otherwise known as ‘the taker” (DR. EXELBERG, verywellmind.com). In healthy relationships, people have a desire to feel loved and wanted. The ideal relationship is one where both persons are interdependent. This is when two strong people are involved with each other without sacrificing themselves or compromising their values.

The pattern of codependency first started with Solomon, who married the Queen of Sheba. This marriage led him to leave his love for God and to serve other foreign gods. This generational pattern was passed down to Ahab, who was an extreme case. This is why choosing a life partner is such an important decision, as being attached to the wrong person can ruin your life. We can learn a lot from Ahab and Jezebel’s toxic relationship and guard against codependency. A wife should encourage her husband to be a better person as should a husband love and nurture his wife. Both people should help each other to become better children of God. A relationship needs two people who are firmly established in God to create a healthy and balanced union.

“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals”” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

A.P.-Y.

It is impossible to go through life, without experiencing some kind of hurt or heartache. Some hurts are emotional or psychological and while some wounds are surface level others are deep seated. Some human beings are said to be more resilient than others. If that is the case, it is hard to measure types of hurt and try to determine how it will affect people. Two people can go through the same experience and both respond to it differently. It is hard to tell what makes some people more resilient, or try to determine why some people are better able to cope than others.

Whatever the hurt, God is invested in mending and providing healing. I didn’t always understand that God cares about my emotions and I once felt that he was too busy to be bothered with my heartache. I later learnt that God also cares about the matters of our hearts and our emotional well-being. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). Not only does God care about our heartache, but he is also close to us when we are hurting.

It is sometimes the people that are close to us who cause us the most heartache. David said, “For it is not an enemy who taunts me— then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me— then I could hide from him” (Psalm 55:12). In this passage David was lamenting about the betrayal of a friend, who he used to confide in. We have to trust our emotions to God and trust Him when we cannot trust other people. We learn the lesson, try to make better choices and be more selective when making decisions about significant relationships.

The best thing is to allow God to choose our friends and those people who he wants us to be close to. We have to also surrender our hurts to Jesus, so that we do not become hardened, as this can lead us to hurting others. God is not like people and a difficult relationship with a parent can affect our ability to trust God, for example. God is a good father and even if our parents forsake us then the Lord will take care of us. Even if your mother and father forsake you, the Lord still cares for you.

“For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord, because they have called you an outcast: ‘It is Zion, for whom no one cares’” (Jeremiah 30:17)!

A.P.-Y.